The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. I John 3:8
The Basic Bible Truth
Satan is a master at His craft. He is wicked and is very knowledgeable of his ultimate end burning in torment forever. His simple plan is to take as many of us with him as possible. To do that he has devised schemes quite expertly and we would do well to be watching carefully. Arsenic in an arsenic bottle is clearly defined and recognized as dangerous. But a bit of arsenic in a bottle of otherwise good Coke, is deadly, unmarked, and a gigantic problem. That type of work is where Satan excels, taking what is otherwise good, and mixing in just enough sin to make it a deadly combination but still very, very enticing.
The Object And Lesson
A sales pitch presented much like a high pressure used car commercial.
It’s time once again for the fantastic Summer blow out sale at Devil Motors. That’s M-O-T-O-R-S as in Many Old Tricks Of Real Sneakiness. At Devil Motors we’re slashing prices. We’re marking them down for immediate sale. We’re overstocked and management has said, “Move ‘em out!” Prices have been slashed all over the lot, and our complete inventory of sins has been priced so low we can’t advertise them here. You’ve got to come by to believe what we’ve done. We have over 400 sins marked BELOW dealer’s cost, and they are ready for immediate delivery. No money down, but lots of interest. We guarantee your credit is good here. Buy now, and really pay later. We’ve got old sins, new sins, cute sins, ugly sins, big sins, little sins, deadly sins, and not-so-deadly sins. Why, we’ve even got some sins that don’t even look like sins anymore. You’ll be sure to find anything you’re looking for in our vast inventory.
Do you know a Christian that needs to be brought down, that needs to be ruined, that needs to be destroyed? We here at Devil Motors have just the thing for you. Check out our used CARS. That’s C-A-R-S as in Completely Annihilate Redeemed Saints. Cream ‘em, smash ‘em, and trash ’em. Let those Christians know you’re around. Our used cars are ready to go now. They are ready for immediate delivery, with on the spot financing available for everyone. No money down. You can pay and pay for it all later. We have the hottest deals on used cars here at Devil Motors. Hot, HOT, HOT!!!
Every one of our used cars has passed a rigorous 666 point check by our certified mechanics. It’s our way of assuring you that these sins are in perfect running order. We’ve slashed prices all over the lot. How low can we go? Come by Devil Motors and see for yourself. You’re not going to believe the deals we are making. No reasonable offer will be refused. And we take everything nice that you have in trade. And remember our slogan, “We promise to sell our sins $300 less than the competition, or we’ll burn in Hell forever.” Hey, wait a minute, we’re doing that already! No wonder our prices on used cars is so low. The heat has made us mad.
Come by Devil Motor today and check out our inventory. Remember the deals are hot, Hot, HOT!!!
How about this little sporty model? A two-seater convertible. She looks fast and cheap just sitting there. A 2015 Pre-Marital Sex. Buy our extended warranty, and we’ll throw in an unwanted pregnancy, AND, the incurable STD of your choice. It’s the gift that will last a lifetime. The manager has said, “Sell it now!”
Or how about this little green gem? A 2014 Jealousy. Everyone’s driving one and you just gotta have one, right? Wait ‘til you find out how empty it is, and what it really costs. But that’s just more profit for you because these units are marked for immediate delivery. Pay a small acquisition fee and take several home tonight. You’ll be the envy of the neighborhood.
Oh, now here’s a real deal! Priced to move today. A 2013 Fear. Now, don’t let its size fool you. Under the hood of this little package sets the heart of a monster. 4,000 cubic inches of fuel injected terror! Looking for just the right gift for the graduate in your life, well, this is it. And it gets great mileage. Remember, a little Fear goes a long way.
Oh, look at this oldie, but goodie. A bright red Anger-n-Fear. Sure, it’s been around for years, but it has many good days left. And my, they are tough, and practically indestructible. It’s a classic, but the Boss said, “Sell it now, we’ve got to make room for the new models and trade-ins coming in.”
This is indeed a rare find. Need some Strife in your life? This 4x4 Strife will go anywhere you want to take it. And it has the size and power to crush anything that opposes it. This is truly a must have for the discerning. And with the optional towing package, you can carry all of the baggage you need to the fight.
We even have a few classics here at Devil Motors. Still in great shape, just take a look at this 1973 Drunkard. This one was way ahead of its time. Its environmentally friendly—runs on pure alcohol. No, it’s not a family car. Everyone who owns one of these leaves their family behind anyway, so why bother making one with more than one seat. And no need for a modern GPS. Because when you’re in a Drunkard, you won’t care where you are.
Maybe you’re looking for a pickup. Our pickup line is complete with the top of the line 2017 Grudge. A ¾ ton chassis with the cargo capacity of a container ship, there’s plenty of room to store all of the hurts and bad feelings you can possibly imagine. And our slogan is, “How you gonna hold a Grudge if you don’t pickup a Grudge?” Catchy, isn’t it. And so is the price. Hot, HOT, HOT!!! That’s what we are. Prices so hot they sizzle. Prices so hot they boil. Prices so hot they melt. Prices so hot they’re on fire.
This year’s Murder comes with several package options. Of course we have the ever-popular Gunshot Murder. Great for those “drive-by’s”, but by far our most popular model is this little baby, the Abortion. Devil Motors is proud to be the world’s largest dealer of this model. We have moved over 1,5 million this year in the US alone, and nearly 25 million worldwide!
When you’re out shopping later today, don’t forget to come by and look at this show stopping number. It’s big. It’s bad. It’s bold. It’s bodacious. It’s bothersome. It’s the brand new 2018 stretched Bald Faced Lie XLT. No one will believe you when they see you in one of these. We offer a cash back bonus on this one. It’s a deal too good to turn down.
And new this year, a subcompact version of the Bald Faced Lie. It’s only available in white. It’s the Little White Lie. It’s just about the cutest thing out there. And no one will think it’s a Lie. They are so small, we can offer volume discounts for those who want to purchase 25 or more at a time.
And last but not least, for that Christian that seems to stand up to everything, we have the crushing blow. Here at Devil Motors we have the one that set the standard of the industry. You’ve seen monster trucks on TV, but wait till you see this jacked up, huge tired, bruising beauty. Priced so low, we’re giving them away. The twin turbine, 8,000 horse power deal of a lifetime! The Discouragement. Capable of pulverizing and destroying anything it touches, the Discouragement is the ultimate in used CARS. And now with prices so low, you can have one of your very own. When you have one of these parked out front, you can go out and let your fingers run all over it. There’s nothing quite like feeling Discouragement.
So come on down to Devil Motors today, and see for yourself. The prices are hot, Hot, HOT!!! And remember, we promise to sell our sins for $300 less than the competition, or we’ll burn in Hell forever! That’s Devil Motors. Call 666-6666, or visit us online at itsreallyhotdownhere.com.