Christmas, for the Christian, should be a time for remembering the humbling fact that God sent His Son, Jesus, into our world with a specific mission. He was to show us how a perfect Christian should live, and then die in our place to pay for our sins so that we can have a relationship with God
A Plain Paper Bag Labeled “Bag-o-Christmas” A Box Of Animal Crackers Instant Snow Powder Poster Board Signs With Various Prices Printed On Them
This object lesson is presented much like those high-pressure, late night, infomercials seen on TV. Typically, the presenter is a far too excited person, convinced that their product is the answer to all of your current and future problems. And the handy dandy “Bag-o-Christmas” is available today to solve all of the issues that cause us stress during the holiday season! It is meant to be over-the-top silly. A little bit of effort is required, maybe even some practice in front of a mirror, to perfect a little bit of salesman patter, to present your “Bag-o-Christmas” in the same vein as the late night TV hosts do. The instant snow powder can be purchased online at teaching supply stores like Steve Spangler Science.
“Welcome ladies and gentlemen to today’s installment of the “Sunday School Shopping Network”. Christmas is coming and we here at SSN know the challenges that the holiday can bring. And we have a solution. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we have searched the world over and found just the right balance of things that will bring your yuletide spirit back to where it needs to be. We call it, the “Bag-o-Christmas”!
When you receive your “Bag-o-Christmas”, the first thing you will notice is the careful packaging. This is not just any old brown paper bag. No, this is a very special brown paper bag made from recycled Long-Horned Barnacle shells from Twin Mountain Falls in Tortuga, Colorado, to help keep our environment clean. Notice the clearly marked label on the bag. Careful attention has been used during the labeling process, all to make your Christmas spirit soar. Notice the neat block letters, clearly readable and easy to understand. We have spared no effort to make this the most amazing product you have ever seen. And its easy open design is unmatched in the industry. Notice how, with very little effort, the top of the bag can be opened. Our engineers have carefully designed the top of each bag in an ingenious fashion, allowing for easy adjustability. With very little effort, the opening of the bag goes from small to large and back to small again, all with a simple flick of the wrist.
Let’s look at the contents of the “Bag-o-Christmas”. Here at the Sunday School Shopping Network, we know how difficult it can be to find just the right items to make your Christmas complete. Research teams have been working night and day to find just the right assortment to include in each of our bags. The first item you will find included with each and every order of the “Bag-o-Christmas” is a box of animal crackers. Notice the bright packaging. Christmas couldn’t be more fun. This amazing box of crackers is lightly sweetened with just the right amount of sugar to keep your dentist happy, and you mildly bouncing off of the walls. But don’t eat them all. You can use them to create your own manger scene. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, all of the creatures you need to build your very own custom manger scene are right here in this little box. Donkeys, sheep, oxen, and if you’re lucky you may even find a crocodile or gorilla in your box. You are probably thinking to yourself, “Christmas morning couldn’t get any better than this, could it?”
Oh, my, but it can. We here at the Sunday School Shopping Network could have stopped right then and there with the animal crackers, but we knew that our customers deserved even more. So we have included this wonderful item. What kind of Christmas would it be without snow? Not a white one. Here at SSN, we are dreaming of a white Christmas, and want you to also. So we have included all of the snow you will ever need to make this the most memorable Christmas ever. Just add water and watch it snow. (At this point I pour the powder onto the table and add water. The material immediately puffs up into a snow looking substance.) Now you can make those cherished memories of building a snowman, or having a family snowball fight, or who could forget a sleigh ride in the falling snow.
So how much would you spend for the most memorable Christmas ever? $39.95? $29.95? How about $19.95? Yes ladies and gentlemen, in a very special one day only offer direct to you, we are offering the incredible “Bag-o-Christmas”, while supplies last, for a mere $19.95, plus shipping and handling. But wait, there’s more. If you order now, in the next five minutes, we will double your order, absolutely free. Now you can share an incredible Christmas with family and friends across the globe. Get two of the amazing “Bag-o-Christmas” for the low, low price of $19.95. All you pay is the extra shipping and handling.
Remember folks, order your “Bag-o-Christmas” today. And enjoy Christmas the way it was meant to be.
(At this point, put aside the silliness that just transpired and seriously discuss the real meaning of Christmas.)